State Of Love And Trust.... (chupiwa) wrote,
State Of Love And Trust....
chupiwa

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No time to be void or save up on life

"And wherever you've gone, and wherever we might go
It don't seem fair - today just disappeared
Your lights reflected now, reflected from afar
We were but stones - your light made us stars...

With heavy breath awakened regrets
Back pages and days alone that could have been spent
Together, but we were...miles apart
Every inch between us becomes light years now
No time to be void or save up on life
Fuck, you gotta spend it all..."


****************************************


i just woke up....


my brother Carlos
called me this morning
to tell me that my grandma Isabella died....

she was my dad's mom.

i cried upon
hearing the
news..

i did not even cry
when my mom's dad
died when we were
in Bangkok together...

i should have never went to Nan
because i could not process
the loss
while at the same time
i was losing you

she was the only
grandparent
i ever knew
and talked to..

a beautiful
old soul
with rough-hewn hands
of a long life
working-class hands
that always took mine
into hers

her life was with
a husband that i
never knew
and who mistreated
my father

yet she had such
a way about her!

her eyes spoke of things
that i have never seen
and will have to come to
understand

she had a deep
husky voice
that betrayed the
frailty of
her wheelchair

she lived quite a long life
almost one hundred years...
but she was in such
pain

bedridden
and
not lucid

as these tears
roll down
i know she is in
a better place...

***********************************

i do not feel
like being at
work

i want to get
drunk

and listen
to sad songs
from her country...
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